Giving "cash out" of a home that has recently been for sale is risky for a bank, as there is some chance that you will take the new loan, and then sell the house, allowing them to only collect 2-3 payments worth of interest, or less. . . or worse, walk away from the house once all your other payments have been made.
I do not mean to suggest that this is your intention - it may well not be! - but from a risk standpoint, this scenario carries more "what ifs" than others.
For this reason, all refinance loans (and particularly "cash out" or "debt consolidation" loans) where the home was recently listed will be individually underwritten on an exception basis.
While most fees are negotiable, including the origination fee, it may be that in your situation, due to your circumstances, the lender or investor is requiring the upfront fee in order to guard against the what ifs I mentioned above. I would encourage you to ask your loan officer directly: he or she should be able to give you a satisfactory answer.
When shopping around, make sure that you tell all potential lenders about your home being recently listed. If you do not, you cannot fairly compare one offer to the other.
Seconding the above, I would agree that it is fair to tell loan officer 1 that you are exploring all the options . . . but I would not walk away from the application (and 3 weeks of wait time) until you have an absolute commitment from another lender that you trust, as your loan is going to require a sign-off from the upper-ups at any bank, and 3 weeks may actually be the time it takes to get this done. As was already said, you don't want to re-set the clock just to wait again, especially if the current lender is willing to negotiate the rate down to current market.